Send back your High Def TV set
10 December 2007

"Most widescreen TVs ... scale the picture to fill the screen, either by stretching out wide to fill the space or using a complex "fisheye" algorithm. The former looks plain awful, the latter [will] most likely [make you] part company with your last meal."

There's something that happens as you head further and further towards the big four-oh. I'm still two years away from that landmark myself but I already feel indoctrinated into the grumpy old git club. I now feel fully qualified to have a good old whinge about pretty much anything!

Take televisions, for example. There's something about modern TV technology (or rather many people's lack of basic understanding about modern TV technology) that really gets on my aging wick. I've lost count of the number of people I've visited who've invested in a widescreen TV only to leave their set-top-box (STB) in standard (4:3) mode. And we're not just talking about up to date flat screen LCDs and plasma screens here this goes right back to the introduction of widescreen CRT sets at the beginning of the decade. Most widescreen TVs that detect a 4:3 aspect picture have an optional automated facility to scale the picture to fill the screen, either by stretching out wide to fill the space or using a complex "fisheye" algorithm. The former looks plain awful, the latter is not too bad provided the camera doesn't move around too quickly at which point you'll most likely part company with your last meal.

Up until the early 1990's TV technology wasn't that complicated. You bought your TV, plugged in your analogue ariel and then switched it on. It only got complicated for some people when they had to work out how to connect their video cassette recorder, and we're hardly talking rocket science here. Then satellite came along, widescreen TV, DTT (Freeview), cable and now high definition. But hold the phone because most people seem to have trouble with that widescreen setting I was taking about on their STB, goodness only knows what'll happen when they have to work out what high def is.

For the record (and I can hardly believe I'm typing this) in order to watch a high def picture you not only need a high def telly but also a high def player (such as a Blu-ray drive or HD-DVD) or high def digital STB such as the one currently marketed by Sky. And even then you need to pay an extra subscription and tune in to one of the small choice of dedicated high def channels currently available in the UK. THEN (and only then) can you say that you're watching high def TV. Unsurprisingly, the same numpties who can't fathom out how to get a true widescreen picture from their standard definition STB are now plugging it into their new plasma set and telling everyone who'll listen that somehow magically they're watching HDTV. Idiots. They'd be far better keeping their money in their pockets and saving up for a book on technology terminology.

The cost of LCD and plasma screens has dropped an astonishing amount in the last 12 months. This is because so many people are buying the sets, of course. However the almost total lack of any true high def content (Sky Sports HD, Sky Movies HD and BBC HD being the exceptions) makes me wonder what these people are actually watching on it. Some will have bought a Playstation 3 and this is fair enough - the games playing experience with a PS3 and HDTV is out of this world - but the sales figures of Sony's games machine (although improving) are much lower than those of HDTVs; so that can't be the whole story. I fear that the numpties are plugging in their standard STB and telling their friend down the pub how great the picture is. Of course, it won't be. In fact, unless you've spent over £1,000 on a really good high def TV set, the cheaper options will actually display a far worse picture than their CRT ancestors. It's all down to how the digital picture is decoded. Even the expensive sets won't display a better picture, just perhaps one that's a little bigger (as most people buy a larger flat screen telly than their previous CRT model).

The moral to this story? Well, for anyone reading this who got lost after the first paragraph and has bought a new high def ready TV set recently: Unless you're actually paying for a high def package from your satellite or cable provider you won't be viewing anything other than what you were viewing before you paid out all that money. And the moral for me is that I need to chill out more and stop worrying about insane nothingness like all of the above.

I'm off for a lie down. Last 30 entries in this Blog

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